I used to think I was a pretty patient person… but then I started submitting stories to publishers. This is pretty much how it goes:
Amy: *submits manuscript to publisher*
Automated E-Mail: Thank you for submitting Manuscript A to Publisher B! We endeavour to get back to you in a timely fashion. If you have not heard from us in twelve weeks…
Amy: Twelve weeks?! But I’ve been waiting twelve seconds already, and you STILL haven’t got back to me! GOD!
Amy: *goes away and eats something, possibly sleeps, torments the cat with a piece of string… looks toward laptop*
Amy: Will not check email. There’s nothing to see. Nothing to see… Nothing– Oh, fuck it. *checks email and finds only some Russian spam and a couple of LiveJournal comments*
Amy: ARGH! It’s been TWELVE HOURS! I’m dying! *complains about it on LiveJournal incessantly*
Collective LiveJournal Friends List: (Paraphrased) Shut up and think about something else for twelve weeks!
Amy: *plays videogames for about three weeks solid*
Amy: How about now? *checks email*
Email: Thank you for submitting your partial Manuscript A to Publisher B! We kinda liked it. Could you send us the rest?
Amy: WHOO HOO! Okay! *sends rest of manuscript*
Amy: *checks email roughly every fifteen minutes for the next eight hours*
Amy: Damn it! I sent it to you, now read it and tell me you want it! Fuck you, time zones and people actually leaving their computers to do things – this is ridiculous!
Amy: *checks email every waking hour for the next three days*
Aaaand this is where I am at the moment.
Disclaimer: Yes, I understand that people have lots of work to do and possibly hundreds of manuscripts to sift through before they get to mine. I’m exaggerating a little bit, and I thought I’d write this for fun (and also because I’m procrastinating right now). Absolutely no offence meant to any publishers, because I’m just mocking myself. 😉