I have to say it: I hate all the usual paranormal clichés.
- A supernatural creature who’s strangely drawn to the human protagonist… but also wants to EAT HER! OMG, the conflict is almost unbearable!
- A vampire who has seen so much loss and death and oh! the pain of it all… Anne Rice didn’t do us many favours there. :/
- A protagonist who’s oh-so-ordinary, until an otherworldly man comes along and changes her entire existence – whatever would she have done without him?!
Don’t get me wrong. I also hate certain non-cliché supernatural elements. Vampires should never sparkle.
Anyway, let me get to the point. I decided I was going to try to write one of those stories, using as many clichés as I could without forcing it, and then turn it on its head a little.
The trouble is, you can’t really sell a story like that. The people looking for a serious paranormal tale get jolted out of it when it becomes obvious that I’m just mocking the conventions, and the people looking for comedy have trouble getting past the horrible clichés at the start.
So instead, I sef-published it to Smashwords – just to see if anyone would actually buy and like it. This is the only story I’ll ever self-publish, because I doubt it’d ever find a home anywhere else.
You can find it here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/45560